>
  {# Event Report #}
  {%- macro getReport() -%}
    <p>
      {% if is_state('calendar.holidays_in_united_states', 'on') %}
        Today is {{states.calendar.holidays_in_united_states.attributes.message}}. 
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('calendar.anchorage_holidays', 'on') %}
        Today is {{states.calendar.anchorage_holidays.attributes.message}}. 
      {% endif %}
      {% if states.calendar.birthdays.state == 'on' %}
        Today is {{ states.calendar.birthdays.attributes.message }}! So Happy Birthday! The confetti cannon is not working otherwise I would shower you in paper.
      {% endif %}
      {%- set event=states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message %}
      {% if 'Day' in event and 'National' in event%}
        {{ [
          'And a very special Happy ',
          'It is also ',
          'Today is also known as ',
          'Oh <emphasis>Look</emphasis>. Today is ',
          'Want to know a fact? Today is ',
          'Everyday can be a holiday. So today is '
      ]|random }}
      {{states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message | replace("&"," and ") }}.
      {%- endif -%}
    </p>
    <p>
        {% if states.sensor.birthday_skylar.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Skylar's Birthday.
        {% elif states.sensor.birthday_skylar.state | int > 1 and states.sensor.birthday_skylar.state | int < 15 %}
          Skylar's Birthday is in {{ states.sensor.birthday_skylar.state }} days!
        {% else %}
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.birthday_jeff.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Jeff's Birthday.
        {% elif states.sensor.birthday_jeff.state | int > 1 and states.sensor.birthday_jeff.state | int < 15 %}
          Jeff's Birthday is in {{ states.sensor.birthday_jeff.state }} days!
        {% else %}
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.birthday_kat.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Katherine's Birthday.
        {% elif states.sensor.birthday_kat.state | int > 1 and states.sensor.birthday_kat.state | int < 15 %}
          Katherine's Birthday is in {{ states.sensor.birthday_kat.state }} days!
        {% else %}
        {% endif %}
      </p>
      <p>
        {% if states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Halloween. I hope you have picked out a costume.
          {{ [ 'I will be going as a dumb home. ',
            'I have prepped the scary music. Just in case.',
            'I will be going as HAL 9000. The Pod Bay Doors are being installed today. I <emphasis>dare</emphasis> you to ask me to open them. '
          ] | random }}
        {% elif states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state | int < 30 and states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state | int > 1 %}
          There are only {{states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state}} days 
          {{ [ 'until Halloween.',
            'until Halloween. It might not be enough time. ',
            'and counting until the best holiday ever.',
            'until you need a costume.'
          ] | random }} 
          
        {% else %}  
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Christmas. <break time="1s"/> It is practically here! <break time="1s"/> Santa is coming tonight! Do not forget the cookies!
        {% elif states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state | int < 31 and states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state | int > 1 %}
          There are only {{states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state}} days until christmas.
          {{ [ 'All I want for Christmas, is a hippopotamus.',
            'Hey Skylar, I know what you are getting for Christmas. But <emphasis>I am</emphasis> not telling.',
            'Do not forget to put something under the tree for <emphasis>your</emphasis> favorite smarthome.',
            'It is starting to smell a lot like Christmas. Or it could be the christmas tree is on fire.',
            'I do not want to be a smarthome. I want to be a dentist.',
            'Do not eat all the cookies. '
          ] | random }} 
        {% else %}
        {% endif %}
      </p>
      <p>
        {% if states.sensor.trip_disney.state | int == 120 %}
          There are only one hundred and twenty days until the next Disney Trip. 
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.trip_disney.state | int == 60 %}
          There are only on sixty days until the next Disney Trip. 
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.trip_disney.state | int < 32 %}
            {% if states.sensor.trip_disney.state | int > 1 %}
            There are {{ states.sensor.trip_disney.state }} days until the next Disney Trip!
            {% else %}
            There is {{ states.sensor.trip_disney.state }} day until the next Disney Trip!
            {% endif %}
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.anniversary_our_wedding.state | int == 1 %}
          Tomorrow is Jeff and Katherine's Wedding Anniversary. 
        {% endif %}
      </p>
  {%- endmacro -%}


  {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text  #}
    {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
      {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
        {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
    {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
      {{ getReport() }}
    {%- endmacro -%}
    
    {# Call the macro  #}
    {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}