164 lines
6.9 KiB
YAML
164 lines
6.9 KiB
YAML
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>
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{# Morning Report #}
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{%- macro getReport() -%}
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<p>
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{% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int > 6 %}
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Good morning.
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{% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
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Good afternoon.
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{% else %}
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Good evening.
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 %}
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{% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
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It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} AM.
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{% else %}
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It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} AM.
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{% endif %}
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{% elif now().strftime('%H')|int > 12 %}
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{% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
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It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} PM.
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{% else %}
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It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} PM.
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{% endif %}
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{% else %}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ [
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'Today is ',
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'If you have not been keeping track today is ',
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'Do you know what day of the week it is? Today is',
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'I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today is '
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]|random }}
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{{states.sensor.today_is.state }}.
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</p>
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<p>
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It is currently {{states.weather.home_2.state}} and {{states.sensor.back_porch.state|round}} degrees in Grayson.
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if states.sensor.nws_alerts.state | int > 0 %}
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There are currently {{states.sensor.nws_alerts.state }} active weather alerts for our area.
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The National Weather Service Has issued,
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{% if states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[5] is defined %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[5] }}.
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{% elif states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[4] is defined %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[4] }}.
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{% elif states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[3] is defined %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[3] }}.
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{% elif states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[2] is defined %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[2] }}.
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{% elif states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[1] is defined %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[1] }}.
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{% else %}
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a {{ states.sensor.nws_alerts.attributes.spoken_desc.split('\n\n-\n\n')[0] }}.
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{% endif %}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ [
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'The rest of the day should be,',
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'Todays forecast should be ,'
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]|random }}
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{{ states.sensor.nws_current_forecast.state }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.heartworm', 'on') %}
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Today is the day Winston gets his heartworm medicine.
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('sensor.today_is', 'Monday') %}
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{% if now().strftime('%H')|int > 17 %}
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{{ [ 'Do not forget tomorrow is Trash Day. ',
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'I advise you move the trash cans to the curb for the weekly pickup. ',
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' The trash and recycle should go out.'
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] | random }}
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{% endif %}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('sensor.halloween_countdown','0') %}
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Happy Halloween!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.christmas_countdown','0') %}
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Merry Christmas Everyone!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_our_wedding','0') %}
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Happy Anniversary! It been an amazing {{ states.sensor.anniversary_our_wedding.attributes.years }} years!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('calendar.holidays_in_united_states', 'on') %}
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Today is {{states.calendar.holidays_in_united_states.attributes.message}}.
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('calendar.anchorage_holidays', 'on') %}
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And do not forget. Today is also {{states.calendar.anchorage_holidays.attributes.message}}.
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{% endif %}
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{% if states.calendar.birthdays.state == 'on' %}
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Today is {{ states.calendar.birthdays.attributes.message }}! So Happy Birthday! The confetti cannon is not working otherwise I would shower you in paper.
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{% endif %}
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{%- set event=states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message %}
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{% if 'Day' in event and 'National' in event%}
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{{ [
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'And a very special Happy ',
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'It is also ',
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'Today is also known as ',
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'Oh <emphasis>Look</emphasis>. Today is ',
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'Want to know a fact? Today is ',
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'Everyday can be a holiday. So today is '
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]|random }}
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{{states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message | replace("&"," and ") }}.
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{{ [
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'We should celebrate.',
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'I will leave the party planning up to <emphasis>you</emphasis>.',
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'I bet <emphasis>you</emphasis> are glad I told you.',
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'Wait. <emphasis>Really.</emphasis> That cannot be a <emphasis>Real</emphasis> holiday.',
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'Wait. <emphasis>That</emphasis> is a <emphasis>Real</emphasis> holiday?',
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'Umm. Okay. You <emphasis>cannot</emphasis> make this stuff up.',
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'But, <emphasis>that</emphasis> just sounds silly.',
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'You did not know did <emphasis>you</emphasis>? But, <emphasis>now </emphasis> you do.'
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]|random }}
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{{ [
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'Anyway. ',
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'Moving On. ',
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'Back to the morning announcements. ',
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'Right. Well. '
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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</p>
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<p>
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{%- if states.sensor.home_to_zoo.state|round > 50 %}
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Traffic to the Zoo appears heavy than normnal.
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{% else %}
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Traffic to the Zoo is normal.
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{% endif %}
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Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_zoo.state|round}} minutes to get to the Zoo.
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{%- if states.sensor.home_to_summit.state|round > 50 %}
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Traffic to the Cox Automotive appears heavy than normnal.
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{% else %}
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Traffic to the Cox is normal.
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{% endif %}
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Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_summit.state|round}} minutes to get to Cox Automotive.
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</p>
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text #}
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{%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
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{%- for item in data.split("\n") if item | trim != "" -%}
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{{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# a macro to call all macros :) #}
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{%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
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{{ getReport() }}
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# Call the macro #}
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{{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}
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