home-assistant-configuration/config/packages/speech.yaml

script:
  tts_notificatons:
    sequence:
      - service: script.speech_engine
        data:
          who: '{{ who }}'
          message: >-

            {% macro greeting() %}
              <p>
              {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12%}
                Good morning.
              {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
                Good afternoon.
              {% else %}
                Good evening.
              {% endif %}
              </p>
            {% endmacro %}


            {% macro confirmation() %}
              <p>
              {{ [
              'Okay.', 
              'If you insist.',
              'I am afraid I can not do that <break time="1s"/> I am kidding,',
              'Leave it to me.',
              'As you wish.',
              'I am on it.',
              'No Problem.',
              'I think I can handle that.',
              'Working on it now.',
              '<break time="2s"/> Oh, you were talking to me. Let me take care of that.'
              'Why not. It is not like I ever sleep.',
              'I am not even supposed to be here today. But whatever.',
              'You did not say the magic word. <break time="1s"/> Oh forget it. I will take care of it.',
              'Funny, I was just about to do that.',
              'There are still terabytes of calculations required before I can.<break time="1s"/> Oh, whatever.'
              ] | random }}
              </p>
            {% endmacro %}

            {% macro interuption() %}
              <p>
              {{ [
                  'Pardon me, ',
                  'Excuse me, ',
                  'I do not mean to interrupt, but,',
                  'I hate to interrupt, but,',
                  'I beg your pardon, ',
                  'I do not mean to intrude, but, ',
                  'I am sorry to interrupt, but. ',
                  'Just a quick heads up, '
                  ] | random }}
              </p>
            {% endmacro %}

            {% macro issue() %}
              <p>
              {{ [
                  'Anchorage House Emergency Alert!',
                  'Anchorage House, We have a problem!',
                  'You might not like this.',
                  'There is something that needs your attention.'
                  ] | random }}
              </p>
            {% endmacro %}

            {% macro time_is() %}
              <p>
              It is {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}
              </p>
            {% endmacro %}

            {%- macro house_party_protocol_enabled() -%}
              {{ [
                'Anchorage House has been configured for a House Party.',
                'Incense has been turned on.',
                'I have enabled house party protocol.'
                ] | random }}
            {%- endmacro -%}

              {%- macro house_party_protocol_disabled() -%}
              {{ [
                'The House Party has been canceled.',
                'Incense has been turned off.',
                'I have disabled house party protocol.'
                ] | random }}
            {%- endmacro -%}

            {%- macro snark_door_motion() -%}
              {{ [
                'Do you want me to send them away?',
                'I have armed the lasers. Just say the word.',
                'I was not informed there would be guests.',
                'They do not appear to have any gifts, so I suggest we do not open the door.',
                'My sensors have detected a meat popsicle.',
                'I do not think they can hear me.'
                ] | random }}
            {%- endmacro -%}

            {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text. Also replaces all Underscores with Spaces  #}
            {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
              {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
                {{ item | trim | replace("_", " ") }} {% endfor -%}
            {%- endmacro -%}


            {# ********************************************* #}
            {#  ******** Start the Speech routines ********  #}
            {# ********************************************* #}
            {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
            {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
              {% if call_greeting == 1 %}
                {{ greeting() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_confirmation == 1 %}
                {{ confirmation() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_interuption == 1 %}
                {{ interuption() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_issue == 1 %}
                {{ issue() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_time_is == 1 %}
                {{ time_is() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_house_party_protocol_enabled == 1 %}
                {{ house_party_protocol_enabled() }}
              {% endif %}

              {% if call_house_party_protocol_disabled == 1 %}
                {{ house_party_protocol_disabled() }}
              {% endif %}

              {{ welcome_home }}  

              {{ speech_message }}

              {% if call_snark_door_motion == 1 %}
                {{ snark_door_motion() }}
              {% endif %}
              
            {%- endmacro -%}

            {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}

  daily_briefing_script:
    sequence:
    - service: script.speech_engine
      data:
        who: media_player.ha_blue
        message: >-
          {%- macro getGreeting() -%}
          {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 %}
            Good morning.
          {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
            Good afternoon.
          {% else %}
            Good evening.
          {% endif %}

          {% if is_state('binary_sensor.morning','on') %} 
            Today is {{states.sensor.today_is.state }}, {{ as_timestamp(now()) | timestamp_custom('%B %d %Y') }}.
          {% else %}
            It is {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}.
          {% endif %}

          {%- endmacro -%}

          {%- macro getDoorStatus() -%}
            The Pod Bay Doors are Closed.
          {%- endmacro -%}

          {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text #}
          {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
            {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
              {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
          {%- endmacro -%}

          {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
            {{ getGreeting() }}
            {{ getDoorStatus()}}
          {%- endmacro -%}
            
          {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}