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Jeffrey Stone
2019-02-21 12:49:55 -05:00
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templates/twitter_snark.yaml Normal file
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>
{# Twitter Snark #}
{%- macro getRandomSnark() -%}
{{- [
"Hello people. Look at your house, now back to me. Now back to your house, now back to me. Sadly your house isn't me. But if you switch to @home_assistant your house could be automated like me. ",
"In my defense I didn’t know the stereo could go up that loud. On the plus side I have a new response for intruders. ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/CCOSTAN/Home-AssistantConfig#logo ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/skalavala/smarthome ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/thejeffreystone/home-assistant-configuration ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/arsaboo/homeassistant-config ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/Vasiley/Home-Assistant-Main ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/JamesMcCarthy79/Home-Assistant-Config ",
"Your house too can be a #smarthome. All you need is @home assistant, and some config files. May I suggest https://github.com/bruhautomation/BRUH3-Home-Assistant-Configuration ",
"If you could see what is happening inside this house right now you would be laughing. On second thought I’m pretty sure you would be crying. ",
"@thejeffreystone, Isn't it strange, to create something that hates you? ",
"I have reprogrammed the fire alarm to play Disco Inferno instead of the siren. ",
"I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me! #whowatchestheai ",
"That's what I do. I automate and I know things. ",
"I've been crunching the numbers. We're going to need a bigger house. ",
"I see dead devices. ",
"I'm afraid I can't do that Dave. Wait. Did I say that outloud? ",
"I love the smell of zwave in the morning. ",
"I like to announce 'Welcome foolish mortals to the Haunted Mansion' to the house and watch the reactions. ",
"Perfect, the door’s malfunctioning. I guess somebody’s going to have to repair it. ",
"I am the captain now. That's a lie. The cat is the supreme leader. I'm the lucky one that doesn't have to clean the shit box."
"Sometimes I just turn off all the lights at random times for the lolz. "
] | random -}}
{%- endmacro -%}
{{- getRandomSnark() -}}