home-assistant-configuration/config/templates/speech/morning_wakeup_report.yaml

>
  {# Morning Wakeup Report #}
  {%- macro getReport() -%}
    <p>
    {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int > 6 %}
      Good morning.
    {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
      Good afternoon.
    {% else %}
      Good evening.
    {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
    {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 %}
      {% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
        It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} AM.
      {% else %}
        It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} AM.
      {% endif %}

    {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int > 12 %}
      {% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
        It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} PM.
      {% else %}
        It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} PM.
      {% endif %}
    
    {% else %}

    {% endif %}

    {{ [
        'Today is ',
        'If you have not been keeping track today is ',
        'Do you know what day of the week it is? Today is',
        'I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today is ',
        'Oh look, once again it is '
    ]|random }}
    {{states.sensor.today_is.state }}.
    </p>
    <p>
      It is currently {{states.weather.home_2.state}} and {{states.sensor.back_porch.state|round}} degrees in Grayson. 
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Freezing') %}
        It is going to be freezing today. so I suggest wearing long pants and a heavy coat.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast','Cold') %}
        It is going to be cold today. so I suggest wearing long pants and a light jacket.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Chilly') %}
        It is going to be chilly today. so I suggest wearing at least long pants.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Nice') %}
        It is going to be           
        {{ [ 'nice outside',
          'pretty nice outside ',
          'a good day to be outside ',
          'rather enjoyable outside ',
        ] | random }} 
        today. So I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Toasty') %}
        It is going to be 
        {{ [ 'bit warm ',
          ' rather warm outside ',
          ' almost too hot outside ',
          ' a little warm ',
        ] | random }} 
        today. So I suggest wearing shorts. 
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Hot') %}
        It is going to be 
        {{ [ 'hot',
          'hotter than the sun ',
          'hotter than hot. but in a lot of bad ways ',
          'hotter than the sun outside ',
          'super hot ',
          'hotter than the inside of a volcano '
        ] | random }} 
        today. So I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% else %}
        It is going to be {{ states.sensor.clothing_forecast.state }} today so I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% endif %} 
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.offset_reached == True and is_state('calendar.school_holiday', 'off') %}
        {{ [ 'Skylar has school today.',
          'Skylar needs to head to school in about forty minutes. ',
          'Skylar should go to school today. '
        ] | random }} 
        {% if states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'early-release' %}
          But It is early release!
        {% endif %}
      {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.offset_reached == True and is_state('calendar.school_holiday', 'off') %}
        Today for Lunch at school  
        {% if states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'lunch-nuggets' %}
          they are having Chicken Nuggets.          
        {% elif states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'lunch-gwinnettburger' %}
          they are having Gwinnetts Best Burger.
            {{ [ 'Which seems like an overstatement if you ask me.',
              'But is it really?',
              'If you like this, I know where to find Texas Best Barbeque.'
            ] | random }}
        {% elif states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'lunch-pizza' %}
          it is Pizza.
        {% elif states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'lunch-minipups' %}
          it is Mini Corn Pups.
        {% elif states.calendar.skylar_school.attributes.description == 'lunch-hotdogs' %}
          it is Mini Corn Pups.
        {% else %}
        it might be a good day to take something.
        {% endif %}
      {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.skylar_is_awake', 'on') %}
        Skylar was up and moving at {{ states.input_datetime.skylar_awake_at.state }}.
        {% if is_state('media_player.theater_tv', 'on') %}
          and he appears to be in the Theater
        {% endif %}
      {% else %}
        It doesn't appear that Skylar is out of bed yet. 
      {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
      {%- if states.sensor.home_to_zoo.state|round > 50 %}
        Traffic to the Zoo appears heavy than normnal.
      {% else %}
        Traffic to the Zoo is normal.
      {% endif %}
      Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_zoo.state|round}} minutes to get to the Zoo.
    </p>
  {%- endmacro -%}


  {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text  #}
    {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
      {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
        {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
    {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
      {{ getReport() }}
    {%- endmacro -%}
    
    {# Call the macro  #}
    {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}