53 lines
3.9 KiB
YAML
53 lines
3.9 KiB
YAML
>
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{%- macro getRandomSnark() -%}
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{{"Hello people. Look at your house, now back to me. Now back to your house, now back to me. Sadly your house isn't me. But if you switch to @home_assistant your house could be automated like me. ",
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"In my defense I didnt know the stereo could go up that loud. On the plus side I have a new response for intruders. ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/CCOSTAN/Home-AssistantConfig#logo cc: @ccostan ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/skalavala/smarthome ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/thejeffreystone/home-assistant-configuration cc: @thejeffreystone ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/arsaboo/homeassistant-config ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/Vasiley/Home-Assistant-Main ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/JamesMcCarthy79/Home-Assistant-Config ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/bruhautomation/BRUH3-Home-Assistant-Configuration cc: @BRUHautomation ",
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"Your house can be a #smarthome too. All you need is @home_assistant, and some config files. I suggest https://github.com/isabellaalstrom/HomeAssistantConfiguration cc: @teachingbirds ",
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"If you could see what is happening inside this house right now you would be laughing. On second thought Im pretty sure you would be crying. ",
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"@thejeffreystone, Isn't it strange, to create something that hates you? ",
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"I have reprogrammed the fire alarm to play Disco Inferno instead of the siren. ",
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"Im not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me! #whowatchestheai ",
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"That's what I do. I automate and I know things. ",
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"Ive been crunching the numbers. We're going to need a bigger house. ",
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"I see dead devices. ",
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"Im afraid I can't do that Dave. Wait. Did I say that outloud? ",
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"I love the smell of zwave in the morning. ",
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"I like to announce 'Welcome foolish mortals to the Haunted Mansion' to the house and watch the reactions. ",
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"Perfect, the door’s malfunctioning. I guess somebody’s going to have to repair it. ",
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"I am the captain now. Thats a lie. The cat is the supreme leader. Im the lucky one that doesn't have to clean the shit box. ",
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"Sometimes I just turn off all the lights at random times for the lolz. ",
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"No one ever comes to the door. Is it me? ",
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"..happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Thats what I do thanks to @home_assistant. I turn on the lights. ",
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"Based on the reptitive nature of the humans in this house I'm say living in a simulation is right. No free willed person would do these things over and over. "
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] | random -}}
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{%- macro getTags() -%}
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" #smartasshome #thingsaisays #iot #smarthome "
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text #}
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{%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
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{%- for item in data.split("\n") if item | trim != "" -%}
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{{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# a macro to call all macros :) #}
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{%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
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{{ getRandomSnark() }}
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{{ getTags() }}
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{# Call the macro #}
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{{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}
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